| the fat of the land |
[Jan. 2nd, 2009|08:33 am] |
if you haven't seen me recently, i've become fat. if you haven't seen me since highschool or 1st year college, i look the same. hahahahaha. but that'll change by god, that will change. i may not be able to grow out my hair again, and i may not have a band but i will get my beach body back if its the last thing i do. Dr. Boyong de Castro will not be a fat ass with man jugs. or at least not for long i hope. for this year i shall start posting my progress. perhaps weekly or monthly. i start today. perhaps the pressure of public failure will get me going.
i'm 5'9
i weigh in at an astounding 195 lbs
and my waistline is 39.
i want to get back to a clean 160
and a 32 or 31waistline.
muscles to follow. hahahahaha
let the challenge begin!!!!!!! pictures of progress also to follow.
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| not quite from the ashes (not really worth reading) |
[Oct. 7th, 2008|06:25 am] |
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this semester has been bitter sweet... though the bitter outweighed the sweet... my life really has started to roll again and it looks like i really am on the right track. however, the losses i've suffered are tremendous and i have ceased to have a social life... though it will be worth it in the end. that being said, i'm on sem break!!! somebody drag me out for a beer for the love of god!!!! |
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| my grandmother loves me most... loved... |
[Jul. 22nd, 2008|07:14 pm] |
my grandma (whom i lovingly call loli) has always treated me a little nicer than everyone else... i seem to be the only one who never experienced her wrath even if i screwed up more than most of my family... i love my loli just as much as she loved me... i used to be called artemio-maka-lola cause i'd never want to leave her side. I've always wished she could live forever even if i knew that was not possible.. i wanted her to see me graduate... get married...succeed... and she will see me... but i'll never see her again as long as i live... my beloved loli, Natividad Feliciano de Castro passed away today...
i love you loli... i'm going to miss you every day....and I'm happy that you're finally with lolo again... but to be honest, i don't know what to do with myself now that you're gone... but i promise I'll make you proud of me...
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| For those who didn't know or didn't remember, it was my birthday yesterday.. |
[Apr. 18th, 2008|09:43 pm] |
i was born on April 18... to everyone who messaged me, thankyou so much. it felt wonderful to be remembered. i spent the entire 24 hours of my birthday with my emem and had lunch with my family. i was pleased they approve of her... highly. it was just such a good day... all birthday wishes granted.
if you don't know, this is my girlfriend melisa.
she did so much to make me birthday special for me.
so for that my emem, thank you. best birthday ever.
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| TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS, NOT ENOUGH MONEY IN MY WALLET. |
[Apr. 8th, 2008|07:57 pm] |
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no money to be more accurate. lol... thats what you get when you don't want a job and you don't take summer school... yes... i believe i've opted not to do summer school... either way, i'm already a regular dentistry student and well, my dad kinda was against the unnecessary expenses. so here i am... doing nothing... maybe i'll get a summer job after all... i don't think i can survive this poor this long... haha... i'm not sure... |
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| the cynical old man learns some new tricks... and smiles |
[Apr. 3rd, 2008|11:51 am] |
i have gotten so des to everything being so shitty that i anticipate failure even when things are fantastic... i forget at times that my world isn't as it once was and that i'm not suffering silently or misunderstood anymore... fact is, i'm understood quite well... and compromise is 2 way. granted there are restrictions that have to be overcome in time, but thats natural and it passes eventually.its so worth it.
the point is, my personal drama was blown way out of proportion... there's a whole lot that i shouldn't underestimate... sometimes, the young are more grounded and mature than the old. and they're cuter too. hehe.
finally, somebody who understands... who can also correct me when i'm wrong, calm me when i'm irrational and who sees things both my way and from the other side of the spectrum...
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| Good heart... keep on beating and everything will be alright. |
[Apr. 2nd, 2008|06:24 am] |
i'm kinda bored... i'm not somebody who enjoys distance and i really need the company... and the quality time... unfortunately a lot of that is not possible at the moment... even if i were to have the company i want, the quality of time would be compromised.. busy busy...
my insides scream the way they always inevitably do... its cause i always have this bad habit of making little scenarios in my head, putting all my hopes in the plausibility of the situation and getting disappointed by the inevitable failure of the plans i bet so heavily on... i just hoped for stress-less quality free time to spend together... unfortunately, things didn't work that way... i love you... i just hope this doesn't carry on... distance makes the heart grow fonder vs. distance makes the heart forget. don't get me wrong i'm in-love. and i wouldn't wanna be with anyone else... its just the little selfish part of me that hopes that my significant other could put me above all else even when my rational side knows its impossible... i just need to remind myself that not everybody would shuffle up their whole schedules to suit the free time of another person. its just that i'm eccentric that way since i would actually and i have altered my whole routine to make time to spend with those i wanna be with... just an empty rant. i know you'll read this my yobo... just you... and i just want to assure you, though i'd only trust your eyes with this, i don't demand anything. i love you very much.
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| when ther'e nothing better to do, a survey... |
[Apr. 1st, 2008|07:59 pm] |
| What Patrick Michael Braulio Delos Santos De Castro Means |  You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.
You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.
You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.
You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.
You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.
You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.
You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. |
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| bakit nga ba ang dali mong napamahal sa akin...? |
[Apr. 1st, 2008|08:40 am] |
i don't know why but some things sound so much better in tagalog... especially senti mushy stuff... hehe
i do not get confused. but i often wonder.
i wonder about a lot of things... things with no answers... or things that i cannot answer at times...
its funny though... your simple wonderful way always makes the answer so clear...
even when there are no questions.
"Tinanong niya ako kung ano ang nagustuhan ko sa iyo... ang sabi ko, lahat. mahal kita."
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| home free... and life is good. |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|09:17 pm] |
i got to hang out with the pelayos. (they are my extended family) i got out of pre-dentistry. i got a piercing with my girl... which surprisingly didn't hurt at all unlike the first one... i climbed a 20 ft. high wall... my girl's dad has become a lawyer which is sure to improve her quality of life... her family was really nice to me... right now, everything is wonderful. this would be s great time to have a drink.
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| the last push |
[Mar. 26th, 2008|08:13 am] |
its been 5 years in the making... and finally, i'm taking that first step which has been so elusive... after my last 3 exams tomorrow, i, patrick michael braulio delos santos de castro, the eternal 2nd year pre dentistry student shall be a 1st year dentistry proper student!!!! wooohoooo!!!! it may sound hella lame, but to everyone who knows the shit i've been through to get to this point... you know its about fucking time right? hehe... and this time around, i won't screw up... because even if i have someone to share this with,(and god knows how i love sharing... hehe padangat yobo!) this is something i'm doing for me. so once again, after tomorrow, i shall no longer be the doctor of pre-dental medicine. i think i'm back to being that promising kid i started out as when i first started college... who was and now once again is going to be a dentist... and this time, i'll stay right on track. y'all should see the big goofy smile on my face and the solitary tear rolling down my cheek. i'm so bloody happy. i just can't explain the joy of finally letting go of 5 years of pain , injustice and frustration. everything is as it should be. finally.
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| wow... i can't believe i was down and out for so long... |
[Mar. 22nd, 2008|06:47 pm] |
i'm still coughing. i've been sick for almost a week and a half... i've been bed-ridden since i got home after passing out at my wonderful girlfriend's place last wednesday. and i haven't really gotten up except to drink or eat til now... thank god for this laptop beside my bed so i can blog... i'll be doing all my backlogged work now in the computer in the den...
emem, i got the voice message you left for me last night... padangat ta ka na maray man charlin yobo. sorry, i believe it was my last recovery related passout..
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| i was at confession yesterday... yes that confession... |
[Mar. 19th, 2008|08:14 pm] |
lets just say it wasn't good. hehe. the religion that supposedly doesn't turn people away turned me away. anyway, thats the lousy part.
shift gears. currently, i am hella sick... i was actually at the kumpisalang bayan of imus cavite (roughly translated its the imus cavite mass confession) to meet my girlfriend's extended family. and the events were kinda as lame as i am. i got sick last night actually. hehe... i kinda collapsed. i was hyperthermic and all. i guess the reason i'm really blogging today is i wanted to never forget how well my emem took care of me last night... up to the point where from being incapacitated, i was able to safely get home... i still don't know what i did right to deserve a girl like her.
i'm so in love!!! i can't believe i'm writing this like a lovestruck chick. hehe.
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| everything i never knew i've always wanted |
[Mar. 17th, 2008|07:27 pm] |
starting with what i've just always wanted, i have always wanted happiness. plain and simple. yet for some reason, even i've had glimpses if that happiness in my life, it has never been sustainable. perhaps i was trying to attain it the wrong way.as a materialistic man, i have always tried to cover that loneliness up with nice things, new things... anything. i wanted things which even if i still do, i know now will not make me truly happy. see, looking back, before right now, the happiest times of my life were spent stargazing with nothing but a dream and a conversation and in a tropical hut with no money splitting a burger cause i had gone broke. i failed to see the value of those moments earlier due to preoccupation.
now, i have someone who, on a daily basis, makes me happy with things i never knew i'd always wanted... she keeps me grounded and constantly reminds me of the value of the little things. she hasn't helped me stand in my shallow inflatable swimming pool, she has inspired me to stand on my own and to keep standing. she is truly the little joy in my life. i must admit, i have never been happier. i just hope this is sustainable.
P.T. yobo. hadok hadok.
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| ask me where my girlfriend is. |
[Mar. 15th, 2008|06:04 am] |
today, she's going home to imus. thats the answer. that is all i will say about that. it has been such a good day. finally, something good to write about.
she was like, "my best friend is asking me to go home to bicol" and i was like, "oh, cool, so are you taking your boyfriend with you?" and she was like "yeah, pwede." and i was like, "wait, let me check if i got this straight, do you have a boyfriend?" (we've been dating exclusively) and she goes "yes" so there.
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| i don't want anybody else, when i think about you i touch myself... hahaha the divinyls rule. |
[Mar. 11th, 2008|11:25 pm] |
i've been kinda alone a lot recently... which is not an easy thing for me... it gives me too much time to just sit and think in the leaking, stagnant and shallow inflatable swimming pool i like to call my life. who knew that a person could drown because it was too shallow... hahaha. its kinda hard to have a drive to stand up on your own two feet when there really is no motivation... when the scenery is always the same and when it is far easier to just lay down and drown or find somebody to lean on... but i guess its been beneficial to me... though i do have some support, i have been and will be standing on my own for the duration of this semester... though i see no light and it is tiring... i'm hoping to gather enough strength to someday jump out of here and graduate to the real pool of life... and stay afloat. til then, i'll just keep standing...
i would also like to post some lyric from different artists that have either helped or deterred my standing... hahaha most can be played on my profile if you like the lyrics.
hello by lionel richie
I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...
I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you
i touch myself by the divinyls
I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me Chorus:
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no You're the one who makes me happy honey
You're the sun who makes me shine
When you're around I'm always laughing
I want to make you mine I close my eyes
And see you before me
Think I would die
If you were to ignore me
A fool could see
Just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees
I'd do anything for you Chorus I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me Chorus I want you
I don't want anybody else
And when I think about you
I touch myself
Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah Chorus please forgive me bryan adams Still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss, its gettin better baby
No one can better this...
Still holdin on, youre still the one
First time our eyes met, same feelin I get
Only feels much stronger, wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on...
So if youre feelin lonely dont
Youre the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should
Please forgive me, I know not what I do...
...i cant stop lovin you
Don't deny me this pain Im going through...
...if I need ya like I do
Please believe me every word I say is true...
...our best times are together...
...touch, still gettin closer baby
Cant get close enough...
Still holdin on, still number one
I remember the smell of your skin...everything
...all your moves...you, yeah!
...the nights ya know I still do...
...one thing Im sure of is the way we make love
And one thing I depend on is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath Im prayin
Thats why Im sayin...
...never leave me I dont know what Id do...
yobo... i miss you... but i'll still just stand here... patiently waiting for the time you can spend with me... for the time that we're ready to be together... for the time we can really share that which i've offered you... padangat ta ka yobo...
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| There's something there that wasn't there before |
[Mar. 9th, 2008|01:56 am] |
could it be? she's finally on multiply. yey!!!! hahaha
anyway, odd day... but good day... the pas week was ann odd good week... hahaha i can't explain...
good and bad... but hey, nothing makes a little light brighter than a lot of dark.
And i think hope and pray that i'm right when i say she loves me!!!!!
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| she wants to,,, or does she? |
[Mar. 8th, 2008|10:29 am] |
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hahaha things are kinda hella good honestly. i'm pretty sure theres alredy something there thats been kinda supplied one way for a while. haha... i'm happy. really. |
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